Pregnancy sucks

Yes it does.

So the day after thinking “Oh I don’t feel pregnant I feel like my normal self” I threw up. And yes it was in the morning. That was the beginning of when things started to not go to plan. I was constantly nauseous, threw up every few hours, went off pretty much all food. I couldn’t stand the thought of eating meat, I went off anything that wasn’t water to drink and the only things I could stomach eating was cereal bars and apples. Now the phrase morning sickness was clearly invented by someone who had never experienced it. Mine was all day everyday sickness. I would disappear at work to throw up four or five times a day. I felt car sick all day and the sicker I felt the less I wanted to eat and the more I threw up. It took about three weeks for me to realise that if I forced myself to eat I threw up less. Having an empty stomach is ten times worse than retching while you force down a Tracker bar. I had my midwife booking appointment at 8 weeks and when she checked my height and weight I realised I had lost 3kg in three weeks. She gave me some tips and advice as well as checking me over and taking some blood and a urine sample. All which came back fine and I appeared healthy on paper. She booked me in for my 12 weeks scan which felt like a lifetime away. Most of the websites suggest that the sickness starts to go away at 12 weeks. That is 4 weeks away, a whole month, how was I going to get through that?

Most websites say that the sickness usually peaks at 9 weeks when your HCG (Human Chorionic gonadotrophin hormone) is highest. I think mine peaked the first week I was sick and then stayed at that level. By 9 weeks I had given up. When I wasn’t at work trying my best to get through the day I spent my time either curled up in a blanket on the sofa, in bed or with my head down the toilet. I had not smiled in weeks and my husband was worried that the happy girl he married had disappeared and been replaced by a vomiting zombie.

I learned to cope with it better, if i kept still I could keep food down for maybe an hour so at least I was getting some nutrients. I started taking my pregnacare before I went to sleep because if I was asleep they I wouldn’t throw them up. I ate breakfast as soon as I got up and had about an hour before I had to brush my teeth, which in turn would make me throw up my breakfast and then I would have to brush them again. The one upside was that the weight loss had stopped and I was just suspended in the limbo of not loosing weight but not putting it on either. At nine weeks I cracked and had to tell my friends and family. I was supposed to be attending my Dads 60th birthday celebrations which involved a meal out. I did not know how I was going to cope with this. There was no way I could pull out and not go so I had to tell them in case I threw up in the restaurant. So in the end I wrote his birthday card and put in it

“Happy birthday dad or should I say Grandad, I brought your present with me but you will have to wait until October to play with it”.

My dad being my dad didn’t read the card properly and started quizzing me why I had not bought him a present to open there and then. All the while my mum having read it over his shoulder was crying her eyes out. They passed the card around and my Nan cried, my Aunt cried and my Cousins all cried and I cried. They were all so happy for me. It took the men a few seconds to twig what was going on then they all joined in with the congratulations. I then told them how far along I was and the reasons I was telling them now and not in three weeks time which they completely understood and no-one would be worried if I didn’t eat when we were out later or if I made a quick break for the bathroom at short notice. We all decided not to tell my sister who was arriving later and when we were all in the restaurant my Dad showed her his card. And just to join the rest of the women in my family she cried too just this time in public and while the waiter was trying to take the orders. My family though were no help at all with sickness advice. None of the women on my side had been sick at all during any of their pregnancies and I just put it down to everyone being different and that I obviously did not cope well with the new hormones in my body. So there it was I had four weeks to go until my 12 weeks scan which was actually going to be the day I was 13 weeks and I had to endure this hell for a bit longer.